“You guys want to pick my brain?  You guys want to know what I’m thinking about?  I like dogs more than cats.  I like chipmunks more than squirrels.  I believe in UFOs.  I once had a bass teacher when I was younger who did the standing bass and he had a very weird smell and I still think about it.  His name was Mr. Hilton.”

(Nick Miller, New Girl, 2x12, Cabin)


“I’ve been stabbed!”

(Russell Schiller, New Girl, 1x20, Normal)



“Woah, something’s happening to me, Jess. I want to sit at that desk and veto a law.”
“What are you doing, Nick? That’s someone else’s stuff.”
“Jess, when I put my hand on this desk, I feel sexually proficient for the first time in my life.”

(New Girl, 1x17, Fancyman (Part 1))




“God!  I’ve never jumped out of a moving car before.  That was badass.”
“Hey, um, you know, Nick, that’s the road.  You want the woods.”
“I want the woods.  You’re smart, Russ.” 
“It was nothing.”
“Come here.  You’re OK, Russ.”
“OK.  We can hug some more later.”

(New Girl, 1x18, Fancyman Part 2)


“Hey man.  I’m going to the beach to watch the sun go down ‘cause I love sunsets.  Did you know that about me?”
“What the hell is wrong with you?”
“Oh, Julia dumped me so, sad face.  Hey, do you want to come with me to the beach?  ’Cause I feel great, I’m ready to rock, but I really don’t want to be alone.” 

(New Girl, 1x14, Bully)